2020 - the year of self exploration and appreciation

2020 is (finally) over and we have quietly welcomed 2021 alongside our close friends and family. 

2020 was not a year that everyone would have imagined. It came in with full of surprises, uncertainties and for some even losses. 

Soon I realize that this global pandemic situation would not go away so easily, and all the plans we got all layout for 2020 would not be unfortunately realized. This was not a year to get everything we wanted, but a year to appreciate everything we have.

Living abroad for a first felt really hard. Not being able to travel home any time soon, or not able to have the space I desire was tough. Many of us live in places not structured to be working and living there 24/7. With limited and shared spaces, we had to differentiate what is our working space and what is our living space. I viewed 2020 as an eye-opening year, where I venture out to self-discovery of myself, of relationships and of true values in life.

I realized how we take things easily for granted. From roof over our head, food, job to any small things that happen daily in your life. It wasn't an easy year for anyone. Some of us were hit worse than other and some of us may have even benefited from it. Nevertheless, it was a global pandemic situation affecting all of us around the world, and we were in it together. For the first time, we had to work collaboratively and be supportive of each other. 

I am sitting in 2021 now, and reflecting this crazy past year that has just passed away. What has 2020 taught me then?

2020 - the year of self exploration and appreciation

2020 taught be about slow travelling - Despite the breaking point in March/April time where the whole world shut down, I was lucky to travel out to Israel and Philippines just before the lockdown earlier in the year. I realized how travelling is such a crucial part of my life, and going slow travelling to explore the culture in full was my aim for 2020. Travelling has significantly changed and will change due to Covid-19. I had to postpone many of my travel plans, but throughout the year, I had a chance to travel to Algarve and road trip around the UK, visit places such as Canterbury, Dover, Cotswolds and Cambridge.

In 2020, I focused on growing TP Studio and product lifestyle photography skills. With having so much time to spare at home, being on furlough for a couple of months, I have focused my free time in growing my side hustle. Being on furlough for 2 months (and getting fully paid), it was a chance for me to fully dedicate my time in growing my own business. Turned my corners in a flat into little photo studio spaces and helped other small businesses online during the tough times. It was an exciting journey, worked on many amazing projects and since then I got many plans for growth in the coming years.

In 2020 I have witnessed empty London on foot. The spring and summer weather in London was gorgeous and I have taken out my camera to just go where my feet are taking me to. From known to unknown streets in London. Taken many images from the streets of London to documenting my quarantine days.

In 2020 I have bought a flat and became a proud homeowner. It was my goal for a while to get my own space, and since last year I have worked towards getting a perfect flat in the city of London. I was lucky to get it all sorted just before the lockdown happened, so it kept us busy pretty much the whole first lockdown. It was so much joy putting the flat together how I wanted (with a strict budget, unfortunately), but very excited for my next property investment and renovation project, hopefully soon.

In 2020 I have started to self-care about myself more. I dedicated more time for myself, from beauty care, reading books to exercising daily. This is actually due to the extra hours given back from commuting to work and from working from home flexibility that I am able to utilize these extra time for something useful - for myself.

In 2020 I faced imposter syndrome. Sometimes people ask me how I achieved certain milestones in my life and people praise my skills. Yet, I still don't think I am as accomplished as they think. No matter how well I do or how many praises I get, I always feel that it isn’t good enough and I can do better. I often fall into the trap of self-doubt and self-denigration, where despite my passion, skills, knowledge and hard work, I don’t feel satisfied and I am scared to fully own my accomplishments. I often downplay my achievements because I don't think they are as amazing as people think they are. No matter what I manage to accomplish, I am unable to enjoy my success. The feeling on inadequacy left me having ups and downs throughout the year, where I wasn't satisfied with any of my work and questioned my directions. Even though the year was about the self-exploratory journey, I feel that it is a continuous exploration for myself.

In 2020 I spent numerous quality months back home with the closest ones. Once the travelling rules slightly lifted, I took the opportunity to travel back home and worked from home overseas. Usually, I would be home only for a long weekend or couple weeks, but this was a first time since university I got to spend home for over a month, and it is truly the best part.

2020 was a relationship test for many couples, including myself and my partner. Loving someone is one thing, but being able to be together 24/7 without arguments, fights and getting annoyed with each other is then true love. We have previously lived together and spent a lot of time together. Therefore I felt that being 24/7 together even strengthen our relationship more, as we were able to learn how to cope with each other more and we learn much more about ourselves. 

2020 - the year of self exploration and appreciation

Underlined and summed up, 2020 was a definitely weird year where we stretched our abilities and venture out of our comfort box in many situations. 2020 wasn't a cancelled year, it was a year for us to appreciate and learn. It was a year that brought us many ups and down, many challenges and successes, many tears and laughter. Whatever happened in this year was partially due to our choices and mindset as well. Not referring to the virus itself, but to the choices we made about going out, whom we spend time with, what we do with out free time and so on. 2021 is a year where we will apply what we learnt. 2021, I am ready for the new challenges. I am ready for you. Happy New year to you all, and I hope you have spend some time to reflect your past year and set your realistic directions for the new year to come!